Signs Your Child May Be Struggling with OCD (And You Don’t Realize It)

When most people think of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), they imagine someone who washes their hands over and over or lines things up perfectly. But OCD in children can be far more complex—and often much harder to recognize.

Many kids with OCD suffer in silence. They may be struggling with intrusive thoughts or mental rituals that aren’t visible to others. What looks like anxiety, defiance, or even quirky behavior may actually be a sign of OCD.

As a child anxiety therapist, I see this all the time: caring, attentive parents who don’t realize their child’s behavior is being driven by obsessive fears and compulsive patterns—not by attention-seeking, stubbornness, or “just a phase.”

Let’s take a closer look at the lesser-known signs your child might be dealing with OCD.

1. They Ask the Same Questions Over and Over (Even After You’ve Answered)

This isn’t typical curiosity—it’s often reassurance-seeking, a common compulsion in OCD. Your child may repeatedly ask:

• “Are you sure I didn’t do anything wrong?”

• “What if I hurt someone and don’t remember?”

• “What if I’m a bad person?”

They might seem stuck on moral, safety, or health-related fears. Even after you give them the “right” answer, they don't feel satisfied—and the question returns.

2. They Seem Overly Focused on Being 'Good' or 'Perfect'

Kids with OCD often feel intense pressure to be morally perfect. They might:

• Apologize constantly for small things

• Worry they’ve sinned or done something “bad”

• Feel they need to confess thoughts or actions
  This can be a form of scrupulosity, a type of OCD that centers on morality or religion.

3. They Perform Routines That Seem Excessive or “Have To” Be Done a Certain Way

Some children with OCD feel compelled to:

• Touch things evenly or repeatedly

• Redo tasks until they feel “just right”

• Avoid certain colors, numbers, or words
  These rituals are attempts to relieve distress caused by intrusive thoughts. They’re not about being stubborn—they’re about preventing something bad from happening.

4. They Avoid Certain Places, People, or Activities (And Can’t Explain Why)

Avoidance can be a subtle sign of OCD. Your child might steer clear of:

• Family members they “feel contaminated by”

• Knives, scissors, or other sharp objects

• Saying certain words or phrases
  They may not be able to explain the fear—but the avoidance is real and anxiety-driven.

5. They Get Very Upset If Their Routine Is Interrupted

Most kids like predictability, but children with OCD can have extreme reactions to change.
For example:

• They insist on putting on clothes in a specific order

• They melt down if bedtime rituals are altered

• They feel they must start tasks over if interrupted
  This isn’t just preference—it’s the result of compulsive rules their brain is enforcing.

6. They’re Quietly Distressed by “Bad” Thoughts

OCD is sometimes called the “doubting disorder” because it fills a child’s mind with what ifs and disturbing thoughts. A child with OCD might not tell you they’re suffering, but they might:

• Withdraw or isolate

• Look “checked out” or distracted

• Seem anxious or irritable for no clear reason
  They may be dealing with intrusive thoughts they’re too ashamed or scared to share.

7. They Do Mental Rituals You Can’t See

Not all compulsions are physical. Some kids silently:

• Count in their head

• Repeat phrases or prayers mentally

• Mentally review past events to “check” if they were bad
  These “invisible” compulsions can be just as distressing and time-consuming as visible ones—but they’re often overlooked.

Why It Matters

Left untreated, OCD can grow—sometimes taking up hours of a child’s day and interfering with their ability to focus, play, or connect. But the good news? OCD is treatable.

With the right support—especially from clinicians trained in Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—kids with OCD can learn to face their fears, resist compulsions, and regain confidence and freedom.

If you’re seeing these signs…

You don’t have to panic, but it is worth paying attention.

OCD doesn’t mean your child is broken or doomed to a lifetime of struggle. It just means their brain is a little overprotective—and there are clear, compassionate ways to help it calm down.

Looking for support or wondering what next steps to take?
Follow along @therapy_hannah_ for more on OCD, anxiety, and how to help your child thrive with courage, not fear.