One Thing Anxious Kids Wish Their Parents Knew
As parents, it can be confusing when your child acts out, avoids situations, or answers “I don’t know” when you ask what’s wrong. You might feel frustrated, helpless, or even wonder if they’re trying to push your buttons.
Here’s the truth: they’re not being difficult. They’re anxious—and their behaviors are their way of expressing fear.
Understanding Anxiety in Kids
Anxiety doesn’t always look like worry or tears. It can show up in ways that feel confusing:
Resistance or avoidance: Refusing to try new things or backing out of activities.
Frustration or irritability: Quick temper, snapping, or moodiness.
Silence or withdrawal: Giving one-word answers like “I don’t know” or shutting down emotionally.
All of these behaviors are the child’s way of signaling fear. And fear can be messy, unpredictable, and overwhelming.
Why “Fixing” the Fear Doesn’t Always Help
When we rush to solve our child’s fear, it can unintentionally communicate that:
Their feelings are too big or inconvenient.
They shouldn’t have these emotions.
They need someone else to take control for them.
While it feels natural to want to provide solutions, anxious kids need something different: presence, not answers.
What Helps Most
The single most powerful thing you can do for an anxious child is stay calm and present. Your presence communicates safety and reassurance.
Here’s what that looks like:
Stay steady: Your calm demeanor shows them that emotions are manageable.
Validate feelings: Acknowledge their fear without judgment. “I see you’re scared. That makes sense.”
Avoid fixing: Resist the urge to immediately solve the problem. Instead, let them experience and explore their feelings.
Offer support: Be there with them—emotionally and physically—so they don’t have to face fear alone.
The Power of Presence
By holding a calm, steady space, you give your child something even more valuable than solutions:
Confidence: They learn they can tolerate and navigate their emotions safely.
Emotional literacy: They start recognizing and naming their feelings.
Trust: They know you are a safe person to turn to, even when life feels scary.
Takeaway
Next time your child seems “difficult” or “stuck,” pause and remember:
They’re not trying to frustrate you.
Their behaviors are a form of fear.
Your calm, supportive presence is more powerful than any solution you could offer.
By simply being there—steady, calm, and validating—you give your anxious child a foundation for courage, resilience, and emotional growth.
Ready to dive deeper? Get started with my Breaking Free From Child Anxiety guide filled with all the tips, tools, and strategies you need to confidently navigate your child’s anxiety.
